Four Eyes

Having a jolly good time at the park in my faux glasses. I don't recall what was so funny.

When I was in 3rd grade, I tried my best to make it seem like I couldn’t see very well when I went to my first optometrist appointment.

“Can you read this line?” the doctor asked.

I don’t recall what letters and numbers were up on the wall, but I could see them clearly and was really peeved by my super amazing vision. So I just pretended it was all too problematic for me.

“Um… A… L…. H, K… uh… I think that’s a U…” and so on and so forth.

I should have probably said, “I can’t tell what that one is” or just say another letter in its place. But at the end of my appointment, the doctor said I had 20/20 vision and didn’t need glasses. I was crushed. I wanted to wear glasses sooooo badly! I know it sounds sort of odd, like what kid wants to wear glasses? What an effin’ weirdo! But I’ve always thought glasses were cool — my mom has always worn glasses, therefore I thought they were cool. The fact that I didn’t need to wear glasses didn’t necessarily mean I couldn’t wear glasses, so I got a fake pair from Claire’s. And in high school I wore some fake Calvin Klein ones my mom bought at the flea market. They made me feel so chic. 🙂

I got my first pair of prescription glasses when I was 18. And my eyes were SUPER effed up thanks to staring at the computer screen for long periods of time — one eye was farsighted while the other was nearsighted. How does that even happen? But within a year my vision improved, and since then I’ve only had a light reading prescription. I’ve had friends try on my glasses and ask if they’re fake, but I swear they’re not!

Anywho, I picked out a pair of new ones a few weeks ago and I’m all excited! My last pair of glasses have been MIA since February and I’ve had them for 3 years, but my eyeballs have been doing alright. I tend to wear a faux pair of horn rimmed glasses (the kind I originally wanted 3 years ago, but the woman helping me out with glasses said they were too big for my face, and a year later every woman and their mother were wearing them. Thanks, hipsters! /sarcasm) that have made many appearances on my blog. When I was still at SFSU, I heard this one girl ask why people wear fake glasses when they don’t even need a prescription. I was slightly offended as I was wearing my fake glasses as she was saying that, and also I like having something on my face. I feel weird without glasses, even though I don’t need them as much as others might.

I’m rambling. What was the point of this post? Oh yeah, new glasses! So, I picked out tortoise shell colored frames by Brooks Brothers which look pretty similar to my faux ones. I was all excited, but then I got a message from my doctor’s office asking what color I wanted them in. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT COLOR? I thought it just comes in tortoise. But no. It also comes in olive and black. I took black out of the equation (I hope that doesn’t sound racist) and found myself being torn between olive and tortoise.


... or olive?

They both don’t look too different from one another, so making a decision became even more difficult! I called the optometrist earlier this morning, but the woman who helped me was with a patient at the time so I thought, “Awesome, more time to think!!!” I settled on tortoise, but when she called me back I said olive. I don’t know what happened.

Either pair should be fine, plus the olive pair look sort of forest-y and have a golden hue, which looks pretty nice… I think. o,0


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